There's a lot of talk these days about daily routines and coping techniques. Tons and tons of lists floating around about how to cope with all this, "forty-two things to implement to survive the pandemic" and the like. All well-intentioned, and many with useful suggestions to offer.

In this uncertain new reality, we grasp for normalcy, consistency, and relief. I think routines and strategies can be incredibly valuable, and for some, essential to maintaining wellbeing.

But let us not think so much about schedules and strategies that we forget to have grace with ourselves. Let us not fall prey to perfectionism, and forget what is and isn't possible during this time.

In truth, there is no perfect set of skills that, when implemented, will make this experience feel normal or okay. If only coping through collective trauma were that simple. By all means, try things out, if you feel like. Some of the items on these lists may help you. We all need tools, and resources, and every little bit of support matters.

But if it doesn't stick, it doesn't stick. If nothing makes you feel normal or functional, that is not your fault. It's not because you read the wrong list, chose the wrong strategy, or messed up your routine. It's because this is really, truly, hard.

Please, please, don't add to your burden by bullying yourself into striving for perfect self-care. If you weren't one for following a strict daily routine before the pandemic, you're unlikely to benefit from trying to force yourself into it now. You are still you, and there is no "right" way to get through this.

Go ahead and take "cope perfectly with global crisis" off your to-do list.