“I’ve been feeling really unmotivated.”

“I can’t seem to accomplish anything.”

“I just feel like: what’s the point?”

I’ve been hearing this a lot the past few days. People trying to get things done, trying to work or go to school remotely, and just struggling to care.

Don’t get me wrong: they care about feeling unmotivated. They feel guilty, ashamed, angry, that they just can’t function like usual, like everybody else clearly can. Still, they can’t conjure the energy or willpower to start or, frankly, to give a $h!t about what they’re supposed to be doing.

We are taught that we’re supposed to be endless founts of motivation. That almost no matter what is happening in our lives, hearts, minds, we are supposed to have no problem whatsoever carrying on with producing and doing of all kinds. We are supposed to feel driven and effective, regardless of what we think or feel about the task before us. And when we do have a “problem” feeling motivated, we are told that there is something wrong with us.

This framework treats us not as humans, but as productivity machines, expected to maintain perfect efficiency. But because we are people and not robots, whether we feel motived depends on many factors. It matters profoundly what the task is, how we feel about doing it, what the perceived stakes are of doing or not doing it, our and others’ evaluation of our capacity to satisfactorily complete it, our moment-to-moment capacity to apply the necessary resources, and basically everything else going on for us.

The system isn’t designed to respect, or even tolerate, these realities and fluctuations. The pressure is constantly high. We get the message that it doesn’t really matter what’s happening for us: that we don’t really matter. And nothing kills motivation like feeling as if you don’t matter, like feeling expendable, exploited, or exhausted.

Now, on top of the usual nonsense, we have at least three levels on which motivation has just become an even greater challenge.

On the nervous system level: The physiological states people occupy when threatened or coping with significant distress are biologically incompatible with higher-order processing like reflection and learning. Trying to engage in “normal” activities might feel ludicrous to your body. As if a tiger were running straight at you, and you decided to have a seat and pull out your knitting. Your brain is going “No! We can’t afford that!”

On the interpersonal level: When we’re in that nervous system state, being asked to produce work can feel intensely invalidating of what we’re experiencing. Having any non-essential demands placed upon you right now may feel like an affront. If your boss, teacher, colleague acknowledges the difficulty of what we’re going through, that may help. But for many, the expectations of “business as usual” are adding insult to injury. Which brings me to…

On the societal level: We are having a big and overdue conversation about our priorities. When everything but the basics must shut down, what remains? Brought down to essentials as we are, we have no choice but to acknowledge what those essentials actually are: food, water, shelter, power, freedom of movement, technology (ie. connection and access), relationships, medical care, mental healthcare, etc. While it is clear that these are priorities, our society is not structured to actually prioritize them. And so, when faced with tasks unrelated to these essentials, we may be scratching our heads going: wait, why am I doing this project, which doesn’t meet my or anyone else’s needs?!

To that end, the question to ask yourself is: does this really need to get done? Like, actually? Will a need go unmet or have its meeting threatened if this does not get done? What can you let go of trying to accomplish under these trying conditions?

But, the reality is, since we live in a society that has already over-taxed us without providing nearly enough support, most of us have massive to-do lists of thing that really, truly, need to get done.

If that’s the case, keep a few things in mind.

1) Trying to work counts as working. I’m serious. Asking your body what it needs to get something done, and searching for the answer, is part of the process.

2) Your needs matter. Are you fed? Are you rested? Are you socially connected to the degree that suits you? The essentials need tending to before any higher-order tasks are going to feel palatable.

3) It only has to exist. In other words, lower that bar all the way to the ground. Imagine you’re writing a paper, and as long as you turn in words on a page, you’re going to get an A. Just throw some stuff together. A for effort! Once it exists, if you have energy to improve it, cool. But that is a luxury and this is a crisis. Let’s underachieve!

4) Follow your motivation. What do you feel motivated to do? You may find yourself repulsed by the thought of most tasks, but called towards something specific: a particular art project, rearranging the furniture, re-grouting the bathroom tiles for all it matters. Go do it! There is wisdom in what your nervous system is interested in right now. See where that leads you, and then check back in with what needs doing to see if your way towards it is any clearer.

5) Just do anything. If all you feel like doing is absolutely nothing, but you need to do something, ask yourself: what could I do? Could I switch from lying down to sitting up? Could I keep the TV on but stand up and make a snack? Could I write a completely unrelated email? Just do what feels available. Because from there, other things might become available. And like stepping stones, you may be able to gradually hop your nervous system to a state more conducive to working.

6) Don’t do alone what would feel better done together. Our brains like to know we have back-up. If you’re trying something alone and getting stuck, you might just need some company. Whether or not you technically can do it alone is irrelevant. For some unhelpful reasons, we are taught that doing things on our own is more valuable. But that concept is both incorrect and harmful to us. Even if we know something, telling it to ourselves is often not the same as hearing it said to us from another. We need each other! If all else fails, try connecting.

What have you decided not to accomplish during the pandemic? I’d love to hear from you.